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I’m not a marketing expert, I’m not a creative director, I’m never a business person, I’m just a tech freak. So how can I write an ‘Advertising strategies’ round up?. So simple, I live in Sri Lanka & pay little attention to media. I have a little but working brain in my head. So writing this roundup was a peace of cake for me. So here it is.

Be patriotic. Oh…sorry just pretending is enough.
This is a great way to sell your product to huge number of dumb patriots. As an example, imagine you are an American condom maker. This is still a great strategy for you. in your advertisement just say that your product is completely made in Sri Lanka (don’t worry. No one will ask you ‘where’s the factory) & Lankans can wear it with pride & screw any one met in the roadside without any fear. You are done. Check out election propaganda for better examples.

Be ayurvedic. No just say your product is Ayurvedic.
Hehe this is also a great a strategy. Just imagine you are still that condom maker. Advertise saying you add a secret ayurvedic herbals in your product. You are done. Don’t worry no one will check whether you really add ayurvedic stuff. People will love your product & if you do a survey you’ll find a lot of people who have experienced the ayurvedic power of your condom. Shhh…Just you & I know the real thing.
Note: You can sell cars, engine oils or anything with these two strategies. You have to pay more or think a bit to get the idea.

Say your product makes dreams come true.
This thing has proved its success through years in Sri Lanka. Lankans never have a happy life thanks to politicians. They just have dreams. So saying your product can make one of those dreams come true will gain you success.
More reference: election propaganda.
ex: For beauty culture products say
– your products can make some one a star
– your product attracts opposite sex
– your product results career upgrading
Just saying is enough. No need to try to make those things true. Put some wheat flour in coconut oil & some colorings as an addition; this is a good fairness cream if you can make a good advertisement. In Sri Lanka there is no discipline in Advertising.

Say that even the stars use your product.
This one is also an old but gold strategy. You can sell possibly anything with this. There are artificial stars made by media just to sell things while selling themselves.

Say your Product is from Europe or USA.
Oh…Wait…Wait… you can use this well, believe me. Yes you can sell things pretending patriotic. But still you can use this strategy too because Lankans really don’t love Sri Lanka. They just pretend they are patriots. Savvy? Need example? Just think why we pay 100+LKR for an US$ or why politicians are rich.

Reuse those strategies.
Yes for the ultimate success you have to repeat this cycle. You can do it without any headaches because Lankan media doesn’t have discipline. And the next best thing is Lankans forget things easily. If your product is not popular anymore just change the name & look & make few ads using above strategies.

On Rivira [Sunday 30th 2007] I saw a News saying world Bank has ranked Sri Lanka at 101 in “Doing Business in South Asia” report while Singapore comes first. It means Sri Lanka is not a good place for business. But you can prove this is bullshit if you use my strategies in advertising for your business. Good Luck!

10 Comments

  1. Truer words never been spoken!
    Reminds me all those F*cking ads which makes us suffer during Cricket matches

  2. hehe…nyc marketin strategies… neva learn these in my business degree.. :). myt need them in future.. ;)

  3. Awsome…….
    Ur extensive research on the “Sri Lankan” market, is simply terrific!!!! “Sira!!!”
    Jaya Waywa!!! :)

  4. @pb n Rosh
    Thanx for the comments. You guys are encouraging me :)

  5. very true mn.. i second dem all.. he..he
    keep goin.. seriously..

    i think dey should include dis.. business subjects n all.. short n sweet.. LMFAO

  6. one more for the list: make it scientific in some way: eg 99% of that or 100% of this, or contains 75% of something else. (usually bullshit) :)

  7. Agreed :)

    “Apekama” is the trend these days :D

  8. do u like to get in to the advertising industry?

  9. @rave
    Are You serious man???


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