The HeartBroken.

I know exactly how it feels when you break your heart. Actually some one else does that for you :). Then you start to feel broken. Start to feel lonely. Start to feel left behind. You want to see the end of the world, soon. Just to get away from the pain. But if you are suffering a broken love or one you just can’t get on with, things just get worse.

You want some one to listen. And you want that someone to react the way you think is right. This is really bad but still really normal. When you hear something not very sweet in your ears from the listener you just avoid her. Simply because you believe she doesn’t understand you. It’s normal that you don’t understand that you are the one who is weak in mind, for the moment.

If the listener keep telling those not so sweet things again and again you start to hate her. ’cause she is shattering your dream world. You just see the happiness surrounding the feeling, not the great pain burning inside. You simply want to suffer it. And there is almost no one who can help some one who enjoys the pain.

You start to live on assumptions. You lose the world around you without knowing. You never realize that there’s a day that all these things end up ’cause all these are just an illusion of nature. And you keep running away from everything else you loved and loved you in return.

Fortunately there is a solution. It’s so simple that you don’t understand. ’cause you think way too hard. And maybe you simply don’t want an answer. You enjoy the pain. But just think simple and tender. And just embrace what you love and still loves you back. You know what you enjoyed before. Just throw yourself in to them. Drown yourself in them.

You still have the scars of the pain. It’s alright. But at least now you don’t burn in that ugly hell. Instead you enjoy life. And believe me, those scars are not there to stay. They go away when you find something better. And you are finding something better. For sure. It’s all relative.

Just listen and think, simple and mild.

NOTE: This is not based on my personal experiences. At least not anything recent. But there are plenty of this kind happening around me. Just wanted to break writers block. And I’ve been tired of writing lot’s of semi-colon ended stuff.

About Image: I love this image. Using on this blog for the second time. Click image to go to deviantart page.

Join me in MJ ass kissers club.

OK, There’s one now. wait.. wait… it was not me. That sage girl defined the club. First of all let’s see who are already in.

The Way you make me feel | How I see it
Michael Jackson and Me | Landon Lanka and Drums
A Legend | A heart on a sleeve
The way you make me feel | delilah says
There will never be another you, MJ | Jus Chillin’
MJ’s gone :( | A glimpse of lady devine
What’s your fav MJ? | Chaar~Max 2.0
Singer Michael Jackson dies at 50 | Gossip Lanka
‘King of Pop’ Michael Jackson dies at age 50 | City Hits
The Six List – Tribute to “The King of Pop…” | Untitled
So, about MJ | The Abyss

Update: Here is a comprehensive list of blog posts on MJ’s death on achcharu.org. (thanx drac for the link) Most of the writers should include the club. Now I really love to be in this club :P .

Dropped in happily:

Doesn’t matter if you are black or white. | Bumble for PM

So this is all I found on a kottu search (query:MJ Michael). If I’ve missed any of you please let me know. And if you think you don’t match the club since you are not upset of MJ’s death, ping me I’ll remove you from the list.

11 posts (edit : at the beginning it was), written by people who are shocked by the death of MJ. I just feel like that’s not enough. I too join the club.

Yesterday I woke up to the news ‘MJ died’ on Fox news or something. First thing I did was switching on my laptop & rushing to the interwebz. My twitter feed didn’t have much info but Twitter search kinda confirmed that I should start to feel upset. Not that I’m a big fan. But I dunno why the hell I feel so bad that MJ is not any more. I can remember I grew up listening to him. Heard those strange stories about him. My uncle had few albums of MJ which I still can remember the cover art of.

I was upset when people call him a child molester. But I just didn’t give a shit. Yeah that’s my kind, “Just don’t give a shit”. But I can’t stop feeling upset of MJ. Maybe that’s because he was a legend, an icon & still he went away that way. Maybe I’m not upset about MJ but the universal truth, “it all comes to an end”. MJ’s death just make it a bit clear I guess. well… I dunno.

So I hope I’m in the club, *drumroll* “MJ ass kissers club”.

Damn it feels so cool here. But I wonder why the “sage girl” is upset about our feelings. We putting on feelings on our blogs which are public, which unfortunately are on kottu, which is sage girl’s personal feed reader. Indi… hey buddy please kick me off. Please do that. Sage girl is upset about what we write. And hope others in the club will also get their blogs out of kottu, just to make sage girls reading experience a bit better.

And by the way guys, sage girl also says like this.

“My blog is mine. I never invited you to read it.” (source. And it’s not the first one)

Now tell me why you put your blog on Kottu? isn’t it kind of an innocent invitation to other kottu readers to read this? Well.. I like when people read my posts, kottu people too. But unlike sage girl *I don’t write for Kottu*. So just think why we should get labeled as ‘ass kissers’ for being on Kottu? (and stuffing sage girls good read heaven a hell).

Anyway sage girl always manages to eclipse her own thoughts by her own thoughts. Sounds freaky but that’s the way it is. Defending her own false facts with another bunch of false facts. What got pissed me off of is aiming bloggers who are free to write & free to be on any social aggregator as long as they don’t harm the community or any terms set by the aggregator so badly. And this not the fucking first time.

I know I’m trying to put too much light on a small bug. But I don’t want to see this happened again & again.

PS: I was trying very hard to not use any offensive words (ex: fuck, fucking, shit) coz I’m practicung to reduce the usage :-S.

Are Geeks really multitasking?

I’ve read this fine article by rands, about the Attention Deficiency Disorder which nerds normally known to have. And it sounds like “Geeks are multitasking”. But I have another explanation for that. I’ll use the word Geek instead of nerd since it’s better known at the time.

I think I have most of those qualities which are known to be in Geeks. I never called myself a Geek until another geek called me so. I used the word tech-freak instead. But there are many people calling me a geek & I have no problem with that. So the so called explanation is based on what I think/know of myself. I know it cannot be hundred percent true or hundred percent false.

When I’m at home & at the computer, if mom comes with a hot tea & a good topic, normally in few minutes she gets angry with me & start complaining that I don’t LISTEN. When I’m on the phone, if I look into the computer screen, money spent for making the call is gonna be a big waste. What actually happened to that multitasking feature? Gone with the wind?

Most the time when I take input from my computer screen all the other inputs are getting closed. Or at least loosing priority. But why, I am supposed to have multitasking built-in.

Maybe I don’t have multitasking. But still there are 10-15 Firefox tabs open, few terminal windows/tabs open, email client, may be the text editor with few more tabs, IM client & irssi too. And also some music playing in the backround streaming through the net or in Amarok. I think I’m Alt-Tab-ing through them so many times. Hmmm… complicating huh?

OK, here’s what I think of “what’s going on?”. Let’s face it, I don’t do multitasking. Yes they say that normally men can’t do multitasking , But women can . I don’t know whether they are right or wrong. But I’m sure I’m not multitasking. It’s just dividing time. My brain divides & allocate times for each task. Listening to music at a given chunk of time & quickly jumping in to some coding at next chunk & then something else. (The task list has a priority & the way priority is given is another story & a half). Sounds like TDMA isn’t it? Time Divisional Multiple Access if you haven’t heard of it. For this to be done, ones short term memory and organizing of stuff inside brain should be very good. I’ve personally experienced good short term memory & relatively poor long term memory in my brain wiring.

This is what I have to say. I’m really sorry if you don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I just wanted to put these thoughts out and free up my brain. BTW did my post get any good position in your priority list? :D

My Twitter habbits.

Twitter is becoming a way of life. So it has it’s own culture grown around it. Many bloggers have written so many articles about this very fact. Specially people were worrying about Twitter etiquette or we can call it twittiquette :D. I don’t know if you should follow any rules in tweeting but I have my own set of… well I’ll call them habits. I don’t call them rules because I don’t necessarily so strictly follow them. But I always be careful to continue with these habits. Some of them are self defined while some are learnt from web and also other tweople.

So here goes my twitter habits list.

• I try to post something useful to everyone.

I do this most the time I tweet. Sharing knowledge, news or fun stuff are the best things we can do with Twitter. Those are the main reasons why I use twitter. And that’s why Twitter is so popular.

• I do not post too much of personal things.

Twitter asking “What are you doing?”. But things are changed, or more precisely “evolved”. So I don’t post so much personal stuff unless it’s cool, or useful to someone else or *Very* *Very* important to myself.

• I do not chat on Twitter.

I know very well that Twitter is not an IM client :P . And I know really well that I hate when I see 3-4 replies to same twitter name in a line.

• I do not post welcome messages to followers.

I think this is an annoyance for current followera. This is a good way to show that you are caring. But there are better ways doing that retweet, being in conversation (replying to tweets) are two of them. Or else there’s something called Direct Messages :P

• I send a short description with the links I post.

I’ve seen automagic link posts saying currently browsing ‘link’. No on will click those links unless they are there to just waste time (or atleast I won’t click such links unless I’m killing time). So I try to give a little idea on the content of the link.

• I retweet cool stuff.

If I find something cool on twitter I can just say ‘@dude cool!’. But this will be just garbage to people who follow me but do not follow dude. If I can Retweet (RT) AND say cool, That’s the best thing I can do to show my love. But I carefully decide when/how to do this.

Update 24/4/09 : Now You can thank on Twitter with Twollars.

• I haven’t set any automattic updates on my Twitter.

Yes I know I can set certain stuff to be automatically dumped in to my twitter timeline. But I don’t like it. I wanna keep things real, when I can. I don’t autopost, at least my blog content.

• I read most of tweets on my timeline.

This helps being in conversation. there’s no point of being on twitter if I don’t read the tweets of tweople I follow. But most probably,  won’t read any @ replies going to people who I don’t know unless.. as always.. it’s important to me (I have good scanning capabilities built-in :) . so I scan through my timeline so effectively) .

• I don’t like to post 10-15 messages in a line.

I hate when I see my timeline flooded by a bunch of messages from a single tweeter (Unless there is something very interesting). So I try to avoid me doing it.

• I follow people who follow me & reply me.

I do this because I feel that they are really in conversation with me & so I should follow them.

• I’m friendly. I just be selective when I chose whom to follow.

I can’t explain this :) .

• I very very very very rarely post good mornings or good nights.

I don’t think it’s necessary unless it can add more spice to the moment or you have a new cool way to say it. IRC do not want away messages, Twitter do not want good mornings.

• If I unfollow I give a reason.

This will help her to know if somethings wrong & perhaps give reasons (and eventually stay friends forever :) ). If I just want to unfollow or I think you are a spam bot I won’t bother to give any reasons though.

Can’t call these habits, but I do these too…

• Having a profile image & a bio.

I check for these when I’m gonna follow some one. A good/creative bio would impress me. So I hope I can impress others with mine. I kept a link to my blogs about page in my twitter bio. But learned it’s not nice & wrote a bio inspired by the bio of my friend @seejay (I changed it :D ).

• A unique and/or clear theme for twitter page.

By the word ‘theme’, I mean ‘background & colors’. I created my Twitter background even before I see anyone else’s custom background. I just used my Twitter background to show my love to some things I really love. The theme is a good way to stand out. And keeping it simple & clear helps your followers reading your tweets without problems. Yes I always check Twitter pages of people I follow time to time even though I use a twitter client do most twitter activities.

I never ever say that ‘you should’, or at least ‘you better’ follow these habits. These are just personal opinions of me. If you too feel anyone or other is good, you can follow them. Just help to make a better twitterverse, the way you can. Anything to add (or remove)?, place your thoughts in comments. And if these habits make you feel that I’m worth a follow Here is my Twitter :)

A new idea for a commercial for Dialog.

Yes Everyone knows that I have a Dialog HSPA connection. OK I must say that I’m experiencing the ‘goodness’ of Dialog ISP services. At a time I dropped connection (which is very familiar to me :P ) I came up with this idea for a new commercial for Dialog.

Dialog: Where faults are defaults & you don’t have any options.

I thought of sharing this because dialog can make a good advertisement with this, Or drop “The Future. Today” for this :P .

Thank you Dialog :P .